Mine had an enviable laid-back demeanor (really only raised his voice a few times in 8 years), avoided conflict, never put me down in front of others, never tried to take me for my money and in fact was very giving right up till the end.
Nonetheless, he evolved into such a callous, cold, cruel, heartless and vindictive dictator that there is no doubt in my mind he is most definitely a narcissistic abuser. Reblogged this on I Won't Take It and commented: Here’s a very good explanation of how “normal” people can be manipulated by the disordered and what those manipulations look like.
I am sorry that the dreams for the future we shared are gone.
I mourn his loss, but I am glad he is free of the past and at rest. Phyllis Thank you for this very helpful and important information. Its very hard to see friends with these types of people and its always good to be aware yourself In high school I definitely dated a guy like this who was emotional abusive and horrible to me. The thing that really concerns me is that this article was originally written in 2003, so Narcissists have been weaving in and out of society undetected for a very long time.
I can only hope that my children will have better self-esteem and won’t get caught in a relationship like this!
Kim, Writing and sharing what you know, helps and creates change.
I pray for strength and courage everyday & every moment. If you haven’t gone No Contact, it would help if you block him because that will cut down on the confusion you might be feeling.
My ex (now..) wrote to my own mom after writing to my best friend complaining about how I broke up with him in a cold sudden way and how he is left heartbroken, crying a lot….basically he is telling my mother that I am the bad guy and he does not undertsand why….. But he just wrote to my best friend (through email) to ask her what led me to break up with him, as he said “I broke up with him in a cold way which was inconsistent with my character” and he wanted to undertsand the reasons …I just hope he is not going to contact my family, exes…etc…I keep the no contact rules and that drives him crazy.
What should I do to stop him from contacting people ?
It’s not an instant thing – the abuse starts slowly, over time, and before you know it, well, you’re in very deep. Kim, every time I receive your post, it is so apt for what I am experiencing at that very moment.
I have separated from him 6 months ago and now in the process of a divorce. It helps if you can somehow remind yourself that this pain won’t last forever, if you can carry through with the divorce and not let him back into your life.